Discussion: the aim is to:
- move from “big picture” to word-level analysis and
- achieve a balance between summary and analysis (emphasis on purpose)
Exercise 11: No place for offensive comments, p. 42-43
Paragraph 1: launch the discussion with a comment on the author’s key idea and their “voice”, especially as Ms Waring relies on personal experience to convey her message.)
Adopting an indignant (or aggrieved) tone (see ‘tone descriptors’), Ms Waring censures Mr Sand’s reprehensible comments because, she believes, they contribute to the exclusion of minority groups. Whilst the author is motivated to voice her concern because of Mr Sand’s recent comments regarding a “baby with limb malformation”, she relies on her own personal first-hand experience – “I witness daily the effects of bullying” – to convey, through her daughter’s humiliation, the consequences of hurtful speech. The fact that her daughter suffers constant ridicule and is labelled a “retard” and “blockhead” endows her views with authenticity. Her candour is bound to win readers’ respect and invite their sympathy, especially as she describes her daughter as one who is not only desperately unhappy but who cries “silent tears of misery”.
(Paragraph 2: Show a connection between Ms Waring’s personal experience and her attack on Mr Sand. Explain how these depictions reinforce her message. For example, note her reasoning: the more vulnerable the victim, the more vicious the attacker. See pp. 12-13.)
One of Ms Waring’s main criticisms is that Mr Sand’s is exploiting people’s misery for his own publicity purposes. Accordingly, the anecdotal evidence relating to the depth of her daughter’s humiliation enables Ms Waring to sharpen the attack on Mr Sand and question his commitment to standards of decency. She encourages fair-minded members of the public, even unsuspecting ones, to recognise that spokespeople like Mr Sand contribute, directly or indirectly, to intolerance and disrespect. In this case, she hopes that the public will share her disgust at the way in which Mr Sand does not only ridicule the multiple-limbed baby, but also the female journalist who he describes as a “fat slug”. The author suggests that these examples show a pattern of disrespect, not only towards those with a disability but also to women with body image problems. In particular, readers would infer from her comment that “the kids at school imitate him” that Mr Sand is reckless with regards to his position of public responsibility. Also, the fact that he makes “cheap jibes” at the expense of the children presents him as an unworthy and irresponsible public spokesperson, who, readers would recognise, is profiting at the expense of the vulnerable and does not deserve support. (Explain the purpose. See p. 63.) The fact that children such as the author’s 14-year old daughter are suffering relentless persecution not only provokes our sympathy but continues to build a sense of outrage towards the insensitivity of such commentators who eschew (forego) their leadership role in favour of popularity. Such a reproach appeals to all members of the community to be mindful of the need to be socially inclusive and to abide by “basic standards of community decency”.
- (Note the subtext/ the implied appeal. See p. 14. If I criticise a person’s intolerance, I am indirectly appealing to respect.) Ms Waring’s condemnation of Mr Sand’s discriminatory comments conceals an urgent appeal to tolerance and respect. Her inclusive reference to “if we are serious” and the “recognition of rights” for all citizens implies an indirect warning to those who flippantly or casually disregard the rights of others which she believes diminishes all people who have the right to “the most basic standards of community decency”.
- See “inclusive and exclusive” language on p. 14. If I appeal to inclusive attitudes, then I am excluding those who discriminate.
Compassionately, Ms Waring refers to the personal experience of her disabled daughter to urge all public commentators to role-model respectful communication. The fact that, as the title suggests, “there is no place for offensive comments”, focuses the audience’s attention on the effects of Mr Sand’s comments, which she points out, are particularly harmful to many vulnerable people. The personal references to the daughter’s anti-social behaviour and the fact that she “hides herself away” encourages all fair-minded members of the community to recognise the harmful effects and show sympathy for the victims. In particular, she shames Mr Sand because he uses his disrespectful comments about the disabled to attract publicity and fame. The fact that he is such a poor role model and shows poor leadership skills highlights, according to Ms Waring, that he is unfit to fulfil his role as a public spokesperson. The fact that young children will imitate him is certainly cause for concern. Finally, she recommends that we isolate such people and send a strong message about the importance of inclusive.
Model paragraph:
Big Picture sentence/paragraph guide:
- (The author’s point of view): … (tone word), the author endorses/challenges/condemns … .
- The author relies on her/his personal/professional background (scientific? evidence) to suggest that … (on what grounds)
- Most importantly, by prioritising values such as (what appeals?) the author encourages concerned members of the audience to …. (impact) OR Most importantly, by depicting the … as … the author encourages concerned members of the audience to question… to reflect on …
Persuasive word-level analysis (or instils a sense of fear/ arouses sympathy/arouses anger or shames)
- Be specific about emotive purpose: Sentences 5-7: Metaphoric/ alliterative phrases such as …. (…) imply or highlight/ or reinforce her view that …
- Readers are likely to appreciate the urgency of the situation because …
- Return to Orange Workbook Arguments and Persuasive Language: Exercise 11, p. 42
- Back To “Turn to” Summary Page