Memories influence the way we see ourselves
The way we remember our past, has a very important bearing on our present lived realities. Sometimes we look back nostalgically and fondly on moments of the past which help us cope with the present. Other times, our relationship with the past may be traumatic and lead to psychological problems that arise during our present lived realities.
No matter whether we have a positive or negative experience, it is safe to say that generally the way we select, organise and construct our memories will affect how we live in the present moment. Frequently, though, we generally remember in a way that protects us. It is not surprising that Stanley wishes to recreate an idyllic and blissful past where he and Stella enjoyed romantic pastimes. He does this whenever his violence and brutality threatens to disrupt their present realities and this becomes a convenient way for both of them to rationalise their continued relationship. Stanley believes that he and Stella had something very special, forged in the darkness of the night. He remembers the lustful nights he and Stella used to enjoy before Blanche interrupted their bliss. He imagines they were happy. “I pulled you down off them columns and how you loved it, having them coloured lights going!”
Sometimes, the relationship with the past can be problematic and this has severe consequences for the way we cope with our present lives and the way we relate to people. For example, if we have experienced trauma during our childhood or during young adult lives, then this may have a troublesome affect on us as we seek to cope with the present. Blanche is haunted by the memory of Allan’s death because she believes that she contributed to it in a number of ways. Not only was she unable to protect him, or provide a “life raft”, but she cannot rid herself of the idea that her comment, “you disgust me”, may have precipitated his suicide. As a result, the light was forever turned off as she descended into a paranoid state unable to cope with the disintegration of her past estate, Belle Reeves, and the impossibility of her forbidden desires. She remembers visiting the soldiers at night, and later there are rumours of an improper relationship with the schoolboy.
According to psychoanalyst Peter Elling we recover the past through words – it is stored in “snatches of sentences and visual impressions recalled in words that only mimic reality”. In this sense, Blanche’s phrase “You disgust me” continues to haunt her. Such snatches of sentences also show how the importance of language to the way we remember our past and how this will have a direct bearing on our interpretation of our present lives. If the “past can never be repeated” then the words or phrases we use represent our attempt to make sense of the cluster of possibly confusing or contradictory events and associations. So if this process of recovery mimics reality, then the past is possibly yet another story – sometimes more fanciful than others. In the case of Blanche, she creates a parallel narrative based on the poignant and fanciful romantic illusion that she will be rescued by the oil billionaire Shepp Huntleigh. (She is making assumptions and interpreting the death according to her own involvement, and her own prejudice, fears and phobias towards desire/ homosexual desire).
Often we distort past memories, or exaggerate others because they are uncomfortable or tinged with fear. Such memories often become displaced in ways that hinder our psychological stability. Freud claims that traumatic experiences are often repressed in the subconscious but lurk beneath the surface and are often recalled during troublesome times. We have a “compulsion to repeat” which refers to the process of remembering or recalling aspects of our trauma which surface in distorted ways and interferes with our current day realities. For this reason, we may fabricate an idealised and illusory reality to compensate for the darkness that we experienced throughout our childhood or teenage experiences. Accordingly, Blanche attempts to recreate a princess-like image in order to compensate for her traumatic past experiences. Her pearl earrings, fur coat and hat all become a barrier, protecting her from the debilitating effect of her disgust towards the death of her husband, Allan.
In such cases, the memory can make our lives difficult as we seek to relate to others – often in ways that other people may think are dishonest or deceitful. Stanley resents Blanche’s “hoity toity” behaviour which he believes is symptomatic of her condescending manner towards him. As her tells her, “I’ve been onto you from the start” and is angry that she is dissembling, while her life is obviously disintegrating around her.
Many people, especially children, who have experienced natural disasters also register similar split personalities because of their inability to deal with their trauma. As a result, fear dominates the horizon and the “real” becomes increasingly dislocated. For example, Matthew was nine years old when he was trying to save his friend’s house during the Black Saturday fires. He was traumatised upon returning to his own burnt house and the realisation of the death of his neighbour and grandparents. Ever since, bright red sunsets, fierce winds, and the mists in the morning trigger memories of the fire and lead to phobic reactions and panic attacks. He has frequent nightmares and at times is unable to breathe. As renowned holocaust psychiatrist Paul Valent says both adults and children “don’t join the dots [over emotional problems causing the physical symptoms] because behind that lies thoughts like ‘Life has no meaning because I didn’t save so-and-so’ or ‘because I killed so-and-so’. He states that the problem leads to disconnection that threatens their wholeness. “But when you kill off parts of yourself, you can’t negotiate what you will kill off. If you kill off guilt, you also kill off love. If you cut off from fear, you experience psychic numbing. You can’t be loving and creative and whole anymore.”
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