Creative writing and analysis: based on people stories: Two of Us
Age writer and social commentator Hugh Mackay believes that “we are defined more by our interdependence than our independence”. This statement alludes to the fact that the groups to which we belong have a big impact upon our quality of life and our sense of self. Evidently if we enjoy positive and supportive relationships, then these relationships help us develop emotionally and intellectually.
Conversely, relationships can also stifle our personal development and cause unhappiness. Accordingly, how we negotiate our differences with others will have a big impact upon our sense of identity.
As Andrew Solomon (author of Far from the Tree) notes, the way parents negotiate differences is critical to family relationships, and “even if they’re very diverse differences, that negotiation of differences is a central part of how parents and children develop a relationship to each other.”
Referring to the following stories as featured in Two of Us, comment on how each individual negotiates their differences.
Judy and Tim Sharp (Two of Us, The Good Weekend, 9/11/13)
- Analyse Judy and Tim’s relationship. Include reference to:
- Judy’s reaction to the doctor’s advice
- Judy’s support for Tim’s artistic pursuits
- the fact that Tim’s autistic world view is apparent in his paintings; how has he used this to advantage?
Brad and Pam Connolly (Two of us by Robyn Doreian (14/2/15)
- Brad’s reaction to his tragedy and his encounter with death
the choices he makes and why - how he copes with his altered body image; his relationship with his family
- what he sees as advantages and disadvantages
For example:
Tim and Judy Sharp: Disabled and autistic people often suffer from social stigma and feel isolated and alienated from mainstream groups. For example, Australian mother Judy Sharp consulted 24 doctors before Tim was diagnosed with autism at 3 years of age. One doctor told her to put him in a home “forget about him and just get on with my life”. In many ways, the doctor’s attitude was typical of those who reject or discard people with disabilities and discriminate against them. As Judy recalls, “those were the cruellest words” she ever heard”.
Because of her love and support she encouraged Tim to draw and he soon became an internationally recognised artist. At 16 years of age, he was the only Australian picked to participate in the Very Special Arts festival for the disabled in Washington. Currently, there is an exhibition about him in the National Museum of Australia. He is the first person with autism to have his creation turned into a TV show, Laser Beak man.
A physical or mental disability informs a different perspective. Generally our physical and mental realities are linked, one influencing the other.
For example, Tim Sharp is an autistic artist whose most popular drawings are those that challenge the viewer to see reality from Tim’s autistic or rather very literal perspective. (In autism, language has a literal meaning.) Eschewing a metaphoric or symbolic take on reality, Tim’s “the Barbie Queue” relating to the family’s outing to a barbecue, features a line of Barbies in a queue waiting for a barbecue. As mother Judy Sharp states, “no one looks at a barbecue the same way any more.”
Brad and Pam Connelly
Often individuals themselves embrace a variety of different perspectives according to their experiences in life. A change in our physical condition, can lead to a change in our mental outlook and hence differing perspectives. A near tragic accident or near death experiences can heighten our sensitivity and alter perspectives on life. Closeness or first-hand experience has a big impact upon a change in perspectives as does an accident that may involve a significant physical change. (Refer to soldiers’ experiences upon their return from war. Many suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder which in itself leads to, or results from a different perspective of life. First-hand experience of the horror and brutality of war, can also lead to changed perspectives about one’s own sense of courage and honour as well as reflection upon dominant political agendas.)
For example, Brad Connelly broke his neck in a bodysurfing accident and his life changed forever. Learning to communicate through lip-reading leads to a significant change in relationship patterns as does the fact that he has to learn to live with the feeling of being a constant burden. (“I shattered so many people with my injury.” From a tactile perspective, he also had to rethink his relationship with his children as he can only feel their skin through his face. As he states, “It’s not how I envisaged being a father”. His relationship with his wife Pam is not physical but rather they “sit and talk for hours” contemplating “life’s big questions together”.
Whilst Brad personally struggles with the vision of himself as a burden, contrastingly, Pam, his wife, expresses gratitude for his life and from her perspective is thankful that she did not lose her husband. She believes that she has grown through their physical interdependence and admits, “I’ve never had a problem with the wife/carer thing. Now it’s like his body is my body.” In a strange way, she believes that the accident has even “improved our relationship.”
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