Trigger alerts, but get real (Students @ Spencer), p. 47
Key ideas and argument strategies
Ms Hagen defends the texts studied by students of English on the grounds that the texts do cover typical family and social problems
She bases her defence/justification of the texts on appeals to compassion and a sense of community-mindedness (connectedness)/personal growth issues.
Presented as a problem-solution style of argument, she suggests that whilst the “depressing” texts may reveal problems about the human condition, they can also lead to solutions, especially for those students who may be struggling with personal issues. Members of her audience would understand the need for young adults to develop greater sensitivity. She uses cause-and-effect reasoning strategies to suggest that whilst the books may trigger mental health issues, this can also lead to discussion, treatment and assistance via the school counsellor.
Some sentence models:
- Ms Hagen criticises those who, like Mr Spark, tend to “erect barriers” and suggests that they are narrow-minded. She also criticises their tendency to personalise rather than universalise these problems and see them as part of being in a community.
- Contrastingly, Ms Hagen praises (applauds) those who are able to keep an open mind and show sensitivity and compassion towards others problems.
- She suggests that there may be positive outcomes, such as help and assistance/ school counsellor visits which would be of considerable assistance to those who may have mental health issues.
- Ms Hagen encourages her readers, particularly young adults, to recognise that students will develop greater compassion and understanding/sensitivity and therefore the whole community benefits.
Close word level (examples):
- (inclusive terms): “whole community will benefit”: social consequences
- (inclusive statements; logical tone) We need to “deal with good and the bad”; broad minded with regards to the need to cover the range of experiences
- (accusatory tone) to do a “disservice” to students; shaming tactics
- “catalyst” for help: exposure to such texts and their issues may help not hinder students because they may seek help (implied mental health issues) Inspire students
See Janie’s response
Trigger alerts, but get real (Students @ Spencer)
In an assertive tone, Tina Hagen insists that teaching challenging VCE texts is crucial in order for VCE students to cultivate an empathetic, realistic approach to dealing with world issues. Her main strategy is her appeal to parents’ humanitarian instincts as she repeatedly highlights that “we must” “learn from other people’s experiences” and “seek to understand the causes.” This inclusive, exigent call to action urges readers to perceive this as a societal duty, implying that the same concern for global issues must be imparted to VCE students through the study of thought-provoking texts.
She then relates such duty to readers themselves, urging them to “deal with the good and the bad, the problems and the rewards,” with the blunt, forthright manner of the clause implying this to be pragmatic, and encouraging readers to courageously accept unpredictability in their lives. Likewise, Hagen suggests that readers’ own children must adopt the same mindset in order to grow into independent, resilient future adults, which she believes can be achieved with VCE texts. Indeed, Hagen reproachfully declares that to do otherwise would be a “disservice” – connoting injustice – to “our bright and talented, thoughtful, resilient, young students”. Her endowment of such praise and pride on students, coupled with the inclusive pronoun “our”, invites readers to imagine how their failure to expose their children to the real world could deter them from exerting their full potential in society out of fear or uncertainty, mobilising them to recognise the necessity of providing them with realistic, eye-opening VCE texts. In fact, Hagen definitively states that “the whole community will benefit,” positioning readers to appreciate the widespread significance of challenging VCE texts. To further glorify this idea, Hagen disparages her opponents in accusing them of “shut[ting]… out” the “very nature” of humanity, positioning readers to view them as intolerant and ignorant of the inevitable circle of life. Her emphatic call for them to “get real” suggests that they are deluding themselves into believing that the troubled reality is avoidable. However, Hagen is adamant that it must be confronted, which she claims VCE texts will allow. Thus, readers may come to embrace controversial VCE texts as a powerful tool that will equip their children with the necessary mentality to step into the next phase of their lives.
(375 words)
The edited response: my changes
In an assertive tone, Tina Hagen insists that teaching challenging VCE texts is crucial in order for VCE students to cultivate an empathetic, realistic approach to dealing with world issues. Her main strategy is her appeal to parents’ humanitarian instincts as she repeatedly highlights that “we must” “learn from other people’s experiences” and “seek to understand the causes.” This inclusive, exigent call to action urges readers to perceive this as a societal duty, implying that the same concern for global issues must be imparted to VCE students through the study of thought-provoking texts. To further glorify this idea, Hagen disparages her opponents by accusing them of trying to “shut … out” the “very nature” of humanity, positioning readers to view them as intolerant and ignorant of the inevitable circle of life.
Based on these fundamental appeals, Ms Hagen exhorts all teachers to use these texts as a vehicle to explore resilience and possible mental health issues. Even her sceptics would concede that “life is not about being rosy” and that in fact it is how one addresses such problems that become a mark of our humanity. The use of this common cliche encourages readers to courageously accept a degree of unpredictability in their lives. Likewise, Hagen suggests that all teachers must ensure that students develop into resilient future adults, which she believes can be achieved with VCE texts. Indeed, Hagen reproachfully declares that to do otherwise would be a “disservice” – connoting injustice – to “our bright and talented, thoughtful, resilient, young students”. And thereby isolates and calls into question the realistic and motives, and resilience of those who seek to avoid such texts.
Return to Exercise 15: Students @ Spencer
Return to Orange Workbook Exercise Program