Exercise 13, Page 45: Bring back the strap
Work through the Tables: Key idea/ evidence/ depictions and appeals
Ms Hally Snowden
- Key argument: Views and tone: She refers to the recent suspensions and Dr Donnelly’s advice to advocate for the reintroduction of corporal punishment.
- Evidence: He refers to Dr Donnelly’s professional experience as a teacher and his recent comments.
- Appeals to authority; discipline is necessary because of the unruly behaviour of students; equal rights of all students to learn and study in a decent academic environment.
- Depictions of “bad” students; assumptions about recalcitrant and disruptive students who enjoy “time out”; it is therefore not effective; suggests other forms of discipline are not working.
- Students are unruly; they are ‘crying out for the strap’; draws attention to their disobedient and disruptive personalities.
- Purpose: presenting the students in such a way as to evoke an angry response at schools and teachers who he implies are not doing enough to ensure a disciplined environment.
Student response (Year 11)
Ms Snowden adopts a relieved tone highlighting the fact that students should get hit with the “cane” legally if they were being too “disruptive” to the class. She draws attention to the fact that giving boisterous students a “stern stare”, “tough talk” and “time-out” is not enough to discipline them. She encourages the audience to realise that by re-introducing such implements is beneficial. She introduces Dr Donelly who has “experienced” this first – hand in order to make her views credible. She depicts children as “unruly” in order to emphasise the importance of disciplining them properly and to criticise methods such as “time – out” as being a way for students to avoid work. She appeals to authority, and reason and logic. She appeals to the fact that students should be able to have a good working environment in order to have a good education. She stands to shame those parents who do not agree with her method and to also shame the students who has led to the “re – introduction” to the cane.
Student response (Year 11)
Mr Scott adopts an indignant and aggrieved tone emphasising that “corporal punishment” is neither needed nor necessary. He uses his first-hand experience and explains how he was a victim of the sadistic trainee priest. He appeals to sympathy when he depicts his experience as a five year old who was humiliated and hurt for no particular reason. Mr Scott and several others are depicted as the victims who were “physical[ly] abuse[d]. The teachers however the teachers were portrayed as ruthless and “sadistic” individuals who exploit their power and harm those that are weaker. He quotes the Education Union President as a credible source to further discredit the usage of the cane and logically appeal to the leadership role of teachers.
Let’s rewrite the examples above
Notice the use of metalanguage: try to embed the persuasive techniques into the flow of the paragraph (eg. appeals to sympathy, shame, fear and a sound learning environment); the sentences foreground purpose and impact of techniques on target audience.
Note also the specific references to depictions (of stakeholders) and their likely impact.
Ms Hally Snowden advocates corporal punishment on the grounds that it acts as a deterrent to unruly students. She relies on Dr Donnelly’s professional advice and his first-hand experience as a teacher to draw attention to the consequences of disruptive and recalcitrant students. One purpose of such a selective depiction is to frustrate members of the school cohort and to arouse the indignation of those parents who value above all a caring and decent school learning environment. The suggestion that boisterous and disrespectful students are profiting from the lack of discipline and the ineffectual “stern stare” is cause for concern. It shames those teachers ineffectually resort to “tough talk” and thereby, this author suggests, compromises the learning rights of all students. The common sense implication that the lack of discipline perversely benefits unruly students is bound to exacerbate those frustrated and angry parents who are concerned at the lack of discipline
Adopting an indignant tone, Mr Scott refers to his own first-hand experience to inject a sense of candour and credibility into the debate, but also to reinforce the burning sense of humiliation experienced by 5-year-old victims. He admonishes individuals who fail to support the victims, and shames them for their indirect support of the ruthless, and exploitative priests. Furthermore, the logical implication that corporal punishment teaches children that violence is “socially acceptable” is bound to anger parents who believe that insufficient action is being taken to curb the ruthless and exploitative actions of sadistic priests and teachers.
Return to Exercise 13 and sample paragraphs