Positive and supportive relationships are critical to our sense of self and help us find a secure place to belonging. (short example) Contrastingly, in the absence of such supportive groups, individuals often struggle to discover who they truly are.
There are constant pressures in society to conform to the dominant ideals of social, mainstream groups. Such groups often dictate our views and values, our goals and expectations and even our body image.
There are many aspects of our personality that cannot be changed such as our ethnicity, our race, our gender and our appearance. (see Andrew Solomon’s comment.)
Role models also have a big influence upon who we are and who we would like to become. Often we choose role models because of how we would ideally like to see ourselves.
Mainstream groups in society often determine the rules by which most of us are expected to abide. Their stated and unstated rules and goals often provide the framework for our attitudes and behaviour.
During the apartheid regime in South Africa, the white Afrikaan dominant group dictated views and values relating to racial superiority of whites. Anyone who was not clearly white with the right physical features was considered to be racially inferior.
Sometimes it can be rewarding to follow a different lifestyle and indulge our alternative interests and values.
It is important to follow one’s heart.
Sometimes we need to make important adjustments and deal with our limitations/weaknesses in order to grow.
Differences can lead to a lot of soul-searching. The way we deal with our differences and cope with adversity will have a big impact on our life’s journey. In many cases, adversity or obstacles can strengthen us and help us to find a purpose. They may challenge us to make commitments or to look at our life from different perspective.
Negative consequences:
Sometimes we connect to groups, but this might be to the detriment of our own personal identity and wellbeing. If the group has radical and extreme views and values, it may smother an individual’s identity completely.
Personal growth is often affected by differences in race, religion or ethnicity. Such differences may have negative consequences and lead to confusion about who we are and confusion about our place in the world.
Such differences often lead to a lot of soul-searching.
Racial, ethnic or religious differences often force us to challenge our priorities in life and our allegiances to the dominant social group. We are often forced to choose the groups to which we would prefer to belong. These decisions may lead to a great deal of personal harm and even exclusion.
Our choice of role models, our choice of relationships and the decisions we make often have a big impact upon the direction of our life and influence who we become.
Adversity (physical difference) often challenges us to think about our place within the group and who we want to become.
Often setbacks or negative experiences make us question the type of person we want to be and the values we cherish.
Often new experiences, new encounters or new relationships can lead to insights about ourselves that often contrast (or contradict) with our perception of who we are.
Those who can withstand obstacles during a difficult personal journey often develop remarkable life skills and a strong sense of purpose.
The way a person deals with adversity or obstacles in life is critical to their sense of self and their levels of confidence.
Those who are able to withstand obstacles or overcome social problems often become strong and resilient.
In life, although we cannot choose our family, we can choose many of our relationships with will have a big impact upon our emotional and psychological wellbeing.
Often we discover ourselves in opposition to others, or through dealing and resisting the burden of expectations of those within the group.
In many ways, this opposition can define who we are in terms of our differences.
Such a struggle can lead to uncharacteristic moments or reveal insights that appear completely contradictory or strange.
There are many rewards for those who often take risks in life and make considerable sacrifices. Eventually, such individuals often find that there are advantages to belonging to more than one place and not being restricted by the expectations and narrow limits of just one group.
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