Paragraph practice: Perfect chinese children, by Vanessa Woods
Some paragraphs for consideration:
Growing up, and negotiating her identity is a painful and traumatic process for Vanessa because of her relationship with her mother. Her mother has high expectations and expects Vanessa to become a doctor. However, the mother also expects that Vanessa will save her from the shame of her divorce by providing status and respect. Given such high demands, Vanessa feels a sense of desperation not only at their poverty but also at her mother’s brand of “emotional terrorism” that seeks to hold her responsible for bringing the family much-needed wealth and status. Vanessa’s pain and suffering are evident when she resorts to anti-social behaviour such as stealing children’s lunches so as to gain her mother’s attention. This increases her humiliation as she redoubles the family’s sense of shame and makes her feel even more worthless.
Topic sentence: If parents are too controlling and dominating and set unrealistic expectations, then children often develop psychological problems. (Expand/Explain: Define the important points of the relationship) In Vanessa Wood’s case, her mother refused to listen to her pleas to become a writer, and wanted her to fulfil her dream of becoming a doctor. The mother aggressively compares Vanessa with their cousin and considers her a failure and a disappointment. (Examples: Evidence: how this affects Vanessa) As a result, Vanessa loses her respect for her mother and becomes extremely resentful. Out of spite and desperation, Vanessa resorts to anti-social behaviour, such as feigning sick in the toilet and stealing other children’s lunches. She resents the fact that she is poverty-stricken, but more than this she resents her mother’s “emotional terrorism” and her “two-faced” comments that deride and humiliate her. She refuses to pay the ultimate price for her mother’s failed marriage and personal sacrifice. (Link) Vanessa’s turmoil shows the problems of excessive control.
For many parents, especially mothers, in Growing Up Asian, it is extremely difficult to be “oneself” because of the pull of one’s cultural roots and the emphasis on “saving face”. Vanessa Wood’s mother becomes trapped in an unhappy marriage because she is unable to admit defeat and disappointment. The father’s Australian family is discriminatory, and refers to the mother as a “chongalewy-chow shiela” and she becomes the “dutiful wife” who “slits her wrists in shame” after the divorce. She is constantly imprisoned by cultural customs and after her marriage she transfers her anger and shame onto her children, almost destroying a happy relationship with them. As Vanessa notes, “with two dollars in her pocket” we become her only hope. Expecting respect and deference, Mrs Woods is extremely disappointed that Vanessa is being corrupted by Western values of independence and freedom. She resents the fact that Vanessa is the “child who talks back and gives viperous looks”.
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