Some story elements; Style and tone and personal flavours
Rose’s story functions as a “case study”. She reveals her heart-felt sentiments about the family’s encounter with the Welfare authorities.
The family were living in South Gippsland and camped in the bush because it was well known that the “Welfare was taking the Koori kids from school never to be seen again”.
As a result, they living in a constant state of fear, huddled together trying to keep warm in front of the fire which “would burn all night”. Their facilities are rudimentary and they try to exist without attracting any attention. But the parents are determined to try to keep the children together and take steps to avoid attention. They do not walk the “same way” through the bush and avoid making a “beaten track”.
As a nine-year-old, Rose is tasked with looking after the four younger siblings which is an enormous burden and one that she is not able to uphold.
Through a very unfortunate set of circumstances, the welfare take the children when they are left unattended because Rose goes to town to get help for a baby who is crying. Rose feels guilty that because she walked through the bush and not along the main highway, the welfare take the children rather than her.
She depicts the Welfare authorities as ogre-like ; a malicious impersonal organisation that disrupts family lifestyles. They are constantly referred to as “the welfare” which magnifies the intangible threat.
Her authentic story includes features of Aboriginal English: “if they seen a group of Koori families together… “
Some statements:
- Human connections are a vital source of hope
Rose’s “very close family” provides both parents and siblings with warmth and love, hope and pride. They derive a strong sense of purpose from family bonds.
Rose becomes a surrogate maternal figure also caring for her siblings and develops a very strong sense of responsibility towards them.
The parents invest their whole sense of self within the family unit. Once the children are taken, the family unit disintegrates and the parents despair. They are not able to deal with the traumatic separation that pierces their heart.
The family relies heavily on each other for support, warmth and survival.
The Koori woman in the town also provides help and support.
Some Grammar
Notice the list of activities taken to avoid the Welfare: each quote/item is a past participle.
Her life is dominated/overshadowed by fear because of the threat of the Welfare and the police, which manifests in her secretive/surreptitious routine – the parents “pulled me out of school”; moved constantly; did not allow them to walk the same way in the bush; lived by themselves and did not make a “beaten track”.
Use a nominal instead of the how:
Through her anecdote/her personal stories she explores how she could not even walk along the highway without the fear of being murdered.
Through her anecdote/her personal stories she explores how she could not even walk along the highway without the fear of being murdered.
- Her aversion / fear of walking / inability to walk along the highway because of the fear of being murdered
See An Australian Anthology: a snapshot of literary landscapes