Sentences are the Key to a good response: don’t summarise; make sure you analyse and contextualise your comments (Do not just repeat “her/his contention”) – unpack the author’s points and go deeper …
See: Arguments and Persuasive Language .
- In order to set up an insightful paragraph choose the “most important” techniques/depictions/portrayals — those that are embedded in the author’s main contention or their supporting reasons, ie. the author criticises X = attacking techniques/words and critical tone;
- Put the “intended effect” near the beginning of each paragraph because assessors are looking for it and they don’t have much time.
- If you can cleverly embed some metalanguage into your analytical sentences, you will be well rewarded. (It changes the focus from summary to analysis and encourages you to be analytically precise.)
- You can improve your depth by focussing on a busy/cluster of techniques/word choices and “deep dive”.
- The author uses XX words to “position the reader”: think about a variety of alternative expressions.
ANALYTICAL SENTENCES: focus on analysis, author’s purpose, impact and intention of techniques.
- The author refers to the historical example of CC to […].
- The author compares space travellers to sea explorers to […].
- The author draws upon her personal/professional experience to […].
- The anecdotal reference to the young boy in order to […].
- The emotive reference to “camelcide” […].
- By appealing to a sense of adventure, the author garners the support of all those who/ encourages us […].
- The comparative / alliterative/ emotive reference to […]
- The statistical reference to […] focuses our attention on the urgency/amount of […]
- The emotive/hyperbolic reference to the […] is bound to antagonise/anger all concerned members of […].
- His scathing/critical/accusatory/shameful reference to […].
- draw attention to […]. Accordingly, many parents or students will feel ashamed at …
- reinforce her view that […] In doing so, the author expects that policy officials will reconsider …
- highlight her point that […] Evidently, policy officials are encouraged to reconsider …
- encourage readers to support […]
- suggests that failure to (…) would be a missed opportunity.
- challenge/prompt us to consider […]
- emphasise the view that […]
- invite members of the public to share his/her frustration at […]
- remind concerned individuals that […]
- impress upon readers the fact that […]
- predispose members of the public to recognise that […]
- counter the (common) view that […]
- convince members of the public that […]
- shame/isolate//sideline/marginalise those who fail to […]
- seeks to empower those who make a difference.
- Ms Y seeks to alarm/concern/unsettle/worry/perturb members of the community through the exaggerated reference to […]
- Mr Janks challenges us to recognise that the scheme is state-sanctioned terrorism and is therefore morally repugnant.
- Mr Janks invites us to share his indignation at the high cost of the scheme.
- Mr Janks predisposes concerned members of the public to see the government as short-sighted and as “numbskulls”.
- Mr Janks anticipates that the profligate scheme will antagonise members of the public.
- Mr Chopper seeks to overcome our scepticism and reassure us about the minimal damage of the “padded” feet.
- Mr Chopper seeks to counter the common view that space travel is a waste of money. He seeks to reassure us about the unbelievable benefits. Many would feel a sense of regret that they might miss out on […]
- Ms Black expects Australians to prioritise the welfare of native animals over that of non-natives.
Contentions and supporting reasons : change sentences that “summarise” to sentences that “analyse”
Mr Wilson says that the United States has a different “value” system and that guns “represent safety”
Rewrite using verbs such as “challenges us to think about”/ “reflect upon”/ “prompts us to consider”/ “encourages us to be sceptical about”/”prompts uneasiness or doubt about the scheme” / (see below)
Mr Wilson challenges readers to recognise that the United States has a different “value” system. He questions and isolates those who falsely (simplistically) believe that Australia has a correct focus on values.
Main contention (1st body paragraph)
supports, endorses, approves of, justifies, applauds, recommends that …
- Jeremy justifies the practice of animal testing because it has led to significant cures.
- Adopting a concerned and compassionate tone, Jeremy rationalises his support for animal testing on the grounds that […]
criticises, challenges, decries, discredits, condemns, accuses, disapproves of, opposes ..
- Jan criticises /discredits the practice of animal-testing because it […]
- Adopting an accusatory stance, Jan challenges members of the audience to reflect upon the consequences of […]
- In a stern and blunt tone, the Reverend decries the practice of euthanasia because it is undermines spiritual values.
- Sensibly and compassionately, Mr Friberg encourages fair-minded members of the public to support euthanasia because, he believes, it is the best way to avoid a slow, painful and humiliating death.
- Adopting a principled and moralistic stance, Jeremy endorses the continued use of animals for testing purposes.
Appeals are a clue to the author’s main reasons and values
- By appealing to common sense, the author challenges readers to recognise the logical consequences of […]
- Appealing to values such as gender equality, Ms Smithers recommends that all women should have the right to participate in armed combat.
- By appealing to values such as equality and fairness, the author challenges fair-minded citizens to think about the consequences of testing.
- By appealing to sportsmanship, Sam isolates/sidelines parents who place too much emphasis on winning.
- (appealing to sportsmanship) Sam shames certain parents for their unsportsmanlike behaviour and tries to change the culture at the club.
- (appeal to social justice) The author expects us to place more emphasis on real-life social justice issues rather than on space matters.
- (the author appeals to patriotism). The author taps into a sentimental/patriotic spirit among concerned Australians and reminds them of their obligations to […]
- (The author appeals to values such as safety.) The author encourages the audience to recognise that those who oppose such schemes do not sufficiently emphasise/prioritise safety issues.
Think about the opposites
- Accordingly, her opponents are depicted as uninspiring and unimaginative.
- In so doing, some members of the target audience would feel narrow-minded/foolish/embarrassed by […]
- In an attempt to improve her credibility, the author challenges the stereotypical view of […]
- The authors draw attention to their credentials […] in order to overturn the stereotype of […]
- The author uses an adamant tone to project her views about equal rights for women in combat.
- Jan condemns the practice of animal testing and shames those who inflict unnecessary suffering on animals […]
- The author implies that those who do not recognise such consequences are narrow-minded and […]
Every now and then, make the “position” intended effect, obvious:
- Accordingly, in doing so, fair-minded members of the school fraternity will certainly share the author’s distaste/horror/indignation at the change…
- As a result, concerned members of the public will find it morally repugnant that X has escaped punishment.
- No doubt, the senior-school cohort will be suitably alarmed at/concerned by/ fearful of the changes to […]
Comparisons:
- The author makes historical comparisons between past sea adventurers such as Christopher Columbus with present day space travellers in order to recommend […]
- The author juxtaposes sea and space travel to show the courage of the adventurers and the desirability of exploring new places.
Sample paragraph
(Big picture) As a representative of a women’s recruitment agency, Dr Smithers endorses women’s right to fight in armed combat. Seeking to gain the trust of all reasonable members of the community, she approaches the issue of women at war from her own professional standpoint and clearly seeks to promote gender equality. Accordingly, readers are immediately alerted to the fact that it is unfair to discriminate against women who show the same capabilities as men. Typically, her emotive reference to words such as “fuss” imply that opposition is illogical and irrational and she urges the public not to be swayed by emotional impediments about women’s deaths. (Close word-level analysis) Dr Smithers also repeats the emotive words (tripling) “equally shocking” and “equally tragic” to encourage all members of the public, including defence policy officials, to realise that anyone’s death while serving their country is difficult. Finally, her clichéd and emotive reference to the “man-made obstacles” also carries negative connotations and seeks to shame and isolate those men in positions of authority, who are creating unnecessary hurdles (exploiting their authority: hence anger). It would seem that Dr Smithers would hope that members of the public would pressure such people to ensure the ultimate fairness in the workplace.
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